One Of The All Time Greatest People in the World. Music Lover, White Sox and Chicago nightlife. I'm sarcastic, witty, funny and a true Gentleman. Basking in 10 million year old light.
Time passes by, and things change. We grow older, learn from our regrets, and try to catch up with the sands of time. We try to live a better life and make decisions that reflect what we've learned durning our hard times.
No matter how awesome a situation was, relationship you had, or choice that had to be made. Remember, you made them because you felt it was better for you. Now is not the time to regret the path you took that put you where you are today.
Now is the time to atone for the decisions you've made and make sure they happened to you for a reason. Whether you make it a good reason or not depends on your character.
Make the moves that count and try to put yourself back in the spotlight of your choosing.
Just remember, if you're content and happy, don't ever let anyone tell you otherwise. Live your life your way and enjoy what sands of time you have left.
How does one really start a post about learning something that they've learned a while ago? Being out here away from my busy life back home has given me some time to force on focusing on myself. It has been really good so far.
So here you are. Your alone on Valentine's Day with nothing better to do then feel like a super lame EMO kid who is one bad rock song away from slitting their wrists. Well, my advice to you? Grow the Hell up. Sorry I couldn't really keep that back but I have to be honest with you. I've come across so many people who feel "Dependent" on hoping or wishing for a Valentine's sweetie to sweep them off their feet and make them feel like a little angel or expect them to buy this super expensive gift or whatnot. Seriously, just look at this situation your putting yourself through. Setting expectations for someone who probably doesn't even know you or know you exist. Now I know what your thinking, "Damn, Saúl is being a jerk right now, he must really hate Valentine's Day." What I would say to you is that your assumption couldn't be far from accurate about my view on Valentine's Day. I literary enjoy that day completely. Being the attractive and superb bachelor that I am, it's so sad when I come across females that I might be interested in at this time of year, and they "break down" when they are single during this time of the year. They feel like their world is gonna end or that it's more like "Single Awareness Day" then anything else. Truth be told, your life is what you make of it. If you are currently mad at me while reading this post then you maybe one of the many who feel that they "Need" to be with someone so that they can be happy. Spend the day with your family if it bothers you that much. Hang out with friends if you feel the need to be around people other then your family. Again, my apologies if I've offended you but the reality is you need to take a step back and appreciate yourself for who YOU ARE before you can make the next step of receiving that appreciation from someone else. The equivalent is that one girl in your group of friends that need to have the most attention or material possessions just to feel better about themselves, aka Gold Diggers. And in case you are wondering, I do have an awesome day planned for Valentine's thanks for asking. In the meantime in between time, keep your eyes here for new posts.
Keep it Funky, Keep it Fresh, and I'll catch you on the Flipside.
You were mine. . . Light to my eyes. All the joy and happiness I had, never was there sad day to be had when you were near. Then you said good-bye and darkness came. . . Cast upon my eyes like a blanket that could not be removed. Now here I sit wondering what will come. . . Night has fallen on my heart and I will never know why. . . Why did you go? Why did you say good-bye?
Just when I was completely getting over you after months of you ignoring my existence, you send me a text and killed all my effort to forget about you... Now I'm stuck not knowing the ways to forget you and move on...Why can't you let me move on from this heartbreak?
Alex lays in his bed staring at the ceiling of his place. Eyes red, dry, and also tired. He tilts his head to his left side and there is a torn picture in his hand, showing his face and what seems to be another person. The other person's face is ripped off and color on the photo worn out as if it was left out in the rain. To the right, there is a half eaten bowl of soup and his wallet, sprawled open. His place full of color and new furnishings. His phone beeps and he sluggishly reaches for his phone, which displays a text message saying, "I guess it just wasn't the right time, I'm sure things will get better for you. I'm sorry for what I did...Good Luck...I'm gonna miss you. XOXO"
Alex gets up and takes his time getting ready. He takes a long shower, staying in deep thought, makes his way out from the shower into the sink and mirror. He takes a moment to dry himself off and then glance at the mirror in front of him. In the mirror Alex see's his defined jaw line and neatly trimmed facial hair. Around his right eye is almost completely shut and areas of black and blue surround his face. He stares in the mirror for a moment and then continues to get ready for the day.
As Alex begins to put on his sneakers and head out the door, he stops himself and goes back into his bedroom, grabs the torn photo and goes out the door. He gets in his car and takes a moment to look at the photo.
"Lexi...I'm so sorry..." as one tear streams down his face his whispers again..."I'm sorry, I just don't wanna bring you in this." He starts his car and heads out from his city, very drawn away from the sunny fall day that is presented to him. He starts down the expressway and then gets a phone call. Alex glances over to it and then takes a good look at this hurt eye in the rearview mirror. He then picks it up and answers. "Hey...how are you doing?" and an exhausted yet cheery voice toned in, "I-I'm, good. More importantly how are you baby?" she asks. "I'll be fine. Just a little banged up. I'm on my way. I should be there in about 30 mins." Alex replies. "Baby it's okay, I'm worried about you. I've been thinking about you non-stop. I think that must really mean something, you know, about us?" She says. Alex takes a deep breath in an almost annoyed and tired fashion and says, "Look Angelica, I'll be there soon we got a lot of things to talk about." Angelica replies back, "Hey babe, I'm just happy I get to see you again, I swear it must mean something. I always knew that you were here to save me." Alex gets off the phone and focuses on his highway driving. He gets lost in most of the drive and begins to think to himself...
"What was I supposed to do?"
"What am I gonna do now?"
"Am I supposed to be here?"
He reaches for his torn picture, quickly glances at it, cracks a small smile and then holds it to his chest. "I'm really gonna miss you Lexi, I hope doing what I did was the right thing to do. I pray for you to find your happiness and that one day I'll find mine." He places the torn picture on his car sun visor and on the edge of it, the paper is curled, showing some writing behind it. "2 Lonely Strangers - 1 Strong Love - Your Babygirl, Lexi"
I choose The Counting Crows for the next installment into this story. The song is "Colorblind" and possibly one of this most emotional musical songs I have heard. The piano riff and slowing tempo really bring out the emotion in this song. In this song it talks about being imperfect, and not ready but at the same time needed to be saved and not being able to be save at the same time. This is the beginning story arc for the rest of the story to be told here with Alex, a young man coming of age and also becoming more in tune with himself then he ever thought he would be. There is a missing piece to this story, what is it? What happened to Alex and Lexi? Maybe next episode will shed some light on the situation.
I wanted to take a moment to address my thoughts on the year 2010. I was a very hard year for me. As most probably don't know, I have gone through a lot of life changes that challenged me in a way that I wouldn't have imagined. Some great, well love people have left us and friends have been hurt. I finally can say that I will officially be able to move on from all the negative people in my life. Some former friends, some more then friends. I have endured something I never thought I could move past from and the proof has arrived right before my eyes. I am willing to take more changes and learn more. Open myself up and work to become a better friend, brother, son, uncle, and god-father in the year to come. This moment of reflection comes to me as a sign that no matter how hurt you can become, no matter how left out to dry your life has been, or even how bad your situation has become, as a person we can only learn from our mistakes and efforts and move forward with it. There are a lot of people in my life I had to give up on, that I wish I never did. But I realized something about that, it was never me who gave up on them, it was them, they gave up on me, or us. However the situation looks, I strive to work at making it better, but you can never help someone who wishes not to be helped. So I leave you all with this message...
"Don't worry about what resolutions you need to make for next year. Celebrate the accomplishments you made in this one. Celebrate the memories you've made and the people in your life. And also celebrate that you have a chance to do it again..."
I've got an amazing and very challenging year ahead of me as I assume you all do. Let praise and be thankful for another shot at meeting new people and share great memories! I dedicate this song to 2010!
How did I begin? Well, I guess I'll start with the basics. I was to honor my faith and give up one of my vices during Lent, I chose all social networking, minus my Blog. I uninstalled all possible options to either help me view and/or check out social networking outlets like, facebook, MySpace, twitter, etc. I kept my blog active as I use it sometimes to vent or get my thoughts across on stuff that plague my mind. Here are some of the thing I discovered;
The first week was a bit annoying if anything, it wasn't hard or difficult, just a little annoying. It was because I changed my habit, cold turkey, like if I was a smoker and just stopped smoking. I realize that it was a truly mind over matter thing. I decided to move other something else to pick that habit up, in this case was checking news feeds and interacting more with my "real-life-in-person" friends and family. I got teased along the way from other friends that knew I gave it up for lent. I focused more into my work and close one around me. As the weeks went by, I got used to not needed to check my twitter or facebook and accepted that reality. For yours truly, it was not a large challenge.
During this time, to my disappointment, I ended a great close friendship that I share with someone whom I really cared for (relating post). Along with that comes the realization that things or situations come to those that may not have the ability to control, but in that instant you discover more of what kind of person you are and how you will grow to be. I don't look at this as a bitter situation at all, in fact, it was a freeing moment for both of us. I could only wish the best, and hope that I get the best. The best is what I'm going to strive for, both personally and professionally.
I know I'm strong enough to succeed. I've taken a financial hit in a world where we worry more about how pirates raid ships and less about how we can strive as a race or whole being. On top of that, I have an opportunity to make a better life for myself and all who surround their lives around me. I'm taking my changes with full faith, faith in myself. During this time in lent, I spent a small time on vacation out in Vegas which was hella fun. We pretty much got to walk around to and go everywhere and anywhere we wanted to without regard or regret. I had a lot of time to think about me, and focus more on what things I want. I'm starting to put together a big Birthday Party for myself to celebrate my 30th Birthday this year! It will be great and symbolize my new journey, as a stronger and much better person. Sorry if it seems I'm too philosophical on this post, I assure you that I'm still my crazy out going self, and will not only stay that way, but will also upgrade my career, social, and family game up to Version 2.0. See you on the sidelines...from the main center spotlight...
Sometimes there are times in your life that you have a really good Amazing Thing going for you. And at this time you can sometimes catch yourself sitting back in awe of how such an amazing thing just stumbled upon your path. Well, this was one of those things. I have been seeing someone who was a very special person to me, she was everything opposite of me but at the same time the same. Well, for the sake of privacy, this person will not be named or shown in any photos, that's how special this person is to me, that I will take a step back and move the microscope I put on myself and keep it away from them. The whole point of this message is to remind all the married couples out there, the ones who are about to get married, and the ones who just happened to find their own "Amazing Thing" and find catching themselves sitting back in awe as well. Make sure you hold them a little more tighter, and tell them how you feel about them. I just told my Amazing Thing, and I have to let it go, I will never know how it will end, or how it could be, or what may happen to me or them after this, what I do know is that if you really care about someone, be it a family member, friend, or loved one, and you are able to give yourself the power to let go and give them a fighting chance and an opportunity for a better life, even if it's not with you in it, that is what really caring about someone is. And that's where I find myself, I just finished a hard conversation that ended something so great, that will always affect the way I treat everyone in my life, my co-workers, family, friends, and my next "Amazing Thing" whenever that happens. To appear out of nowhere, to which I can only pray catches me off guard and keeps me in awe the same way this has. I could be so lucky to be blessed that twice over...
They say that if you love something and you let it go, if it comes back it's meant to be. I truly believe this, and in doing so gave myself the ability to not be greedy and think for others, in a way that I never thought I could do. If it comes back, then it was meant to be, if it doesn't, then it was still good for both of us. Either way I have become a better person for it and proved myself stronger then I ever thought I could be. And that's what we all want, to be better, but not in other peoples eyes but our own. I have a lot of goals set this year and I will be strong enough to go it alone, I still got my friends, my family, and a strong hold on my faith. The road going forward will be long and not easy, but that's what makes us strong, going through doubt, overcoming regret, and enjoying every shinning moment you make, create, or earn in this life. To this Amazing Thing, I wish only the best and that you find what you are looking for, and in the same respect I hope you'll wish the same for me, as it will be the best thing for us. To you I dedicate this Video...
God Bless all who spent the time to read this and that I pray for you all never to endure this hardship, well it's gonna be what it's gonna be, and the best thing is to just move on...and FLY.
Sometimes there are times in your life that you have a really good Amazing Thing going for you. And at this time you can sometimes catch yourself sitting back in awe of how such an amazing thing just stumbled upon your path. Well, this was one of those things. I have been seeing someone who was a very special person to me, she was everything opposite of me but at the same time the same. Well, for the sake of privacy, this person will not be named or shown in any photos, that's how special this person is to me, that I will take a step back and move the microscope I put on myself and keep it away from them. The whole point of this message is to remind all the married couples out there, the ones who are about to get married, and the ones who just happened to find their own "Amazing Thing" and find catching themselves sitting back in awe as well. Make sure you hold them a little more tighter, and tell them how you feel about them. I just told my Amazing Thing, and I have to let it go, I will never know how it will end, or how it could be, or what may happen to me or them after this, what I do know is that if you really care about someone, be it a family member, friend, or loved one, and you are able to give yourself the power to let go and give them a fighting chance and an opportunity for a better life, even if it's not with you in it, that is what really caring about someone is. And that's where I find myself, I just finished a hard conversation that ended something so great, that will always affect the way I treat everyone in my life, my co-workers, family, friends, and my next "Amazing Thing" whenever that happens. To appear out of nowhere, to which I can only pray catches me off guard and keeps me in awe the same way this has. I could be so lucky to be blessed that twice over...
They say that if you love something and you let it go, if it comes back it's meant to be. I truly believe this, and in doing so gave myself the ability to not be greedy and think for others, in a way that I never thought I could do. If it comes back, then it was meant to be, if it doesn't, then it was still good for both of us. Either way I have become a better person for it and proved myself stronger then I ever thought I could be. And that's what we all want, to be better, but not in other peoples eyes but our own. I have a lot of goals set this year and I will be strong enough to go it alone, I still got my friends, my family, and a strong hold on my faith. The road going forward will be long and not easy, but that's what makes us strong, going through doubt, overcoming regret, and enjoying every shinning moment you make, create, or earn in this life. To this Amazing Thing, I wish only the best and that you find what you are looking for, and in the same respect I hope you'll wish the same for me, as it will be the best thing for us. To you I dedicate this Video...
God Bless all who spent the time to read this and that I pray for you all never to endure this hardship, well it's gonna be what it's gonna be, and the best thing is to just move on...and FLY.
The following video link and lyric script is from the last track on Kanye West's New LP: 808's & Heartbreak. This is called the Pinocchio Story, a live free style from his show in Singapore. Definitely one of my many favorites of his album. Enjoy the track and the Lyrics...
Wise man say, Wise man say, Wise man say, You'll never figure out real love, Never figure out real love, You'll never figure out real love,
Its so crazy, I got everything figured out, But for some reason I can never find what real love is about, No doubt, Everything in the world figured out, But I can never seem to find what love is about
Do you think I sacrificed real life, For all the fame and flashing lights? Do you think I sacrifice a real life, For all the fame and flashing lights?
There is no Gucci I can buy, There is no Louis Vuitton to put on, There is no YSL that they could sell, To get my heart out of this hell, And my mind out of this jail, There is no clothes that I could buy, That could turn back the time, There is no vacation spot I could fly, That could bring back a piece of real life, Real life, what does it feel like? I ask you tonight, I ask you tonight, What does it feel like? I ask you tonight, To live a real life I just want to be a real boy, They always say Kanye, he keeps it real boy, Pinocchio story is, I just want to be a real boy, Pinocchio story is to be a real boy,
Its funny Pinocchio lied and thats what kept him from it, I tell the truth and I keep runnin', Its like I'm looking for something out there trying to find something, I turn on the TV and see me and see nothin',
What does it feel like to live real life to be real? Not some facade on tv that no can really feel, Do you really have the stamina? For everybody that sees you and that say, "where's my camera?" For everybody that sees you and says, "sign my autograph" For everybody that sees you cryin' and says, that "you outta laugh" You outta laugh! I just want to be a real boy, Pinocchio story goes, I just want to be a real boy, Pinocchio story goes...
And there is no Gepetto to guide me, no one right beside me, The only one was behind me, I cant find her no more, I cant find her no more I can't... The only one that come out on the tour and scream, scream, scream... Back when I was living at home and this was all a big dream,
And the fame will be got caught, And the day I moved to LA, Maybe that was all my fault, All my fault to be a real boy, Chasing the American dream, Chasing everything we seen, Up on the TV screen, And when I- the Benz was left, And the clothes was left, And the hoes was left, You talk the hoes to death thinkin' the money that the- You spent the doughs to death And tell me what-tf for a real boy
They say, "Kanye you keep it too real boy", Perspective and Wise man say, "One day you'll find your way.", The wise man say, "You'll find your way, The wise man say, "You'll find your way, The wise man say...
The following video link and lyric script is from the last track on Kanye West's New LP: 808's & Heartbreak. This is called the Pinocchio Story, a live free style from his show in Singapore. Definitely one of my many favorites of his album. Enjoy the track and the Lyrics...
Wise man say, Wise man say, Wise man say, You'll never figure out real love, Never figure out real love, You'll never figure out real love,
Its so crazy, I got everything figured out, But for some reason I can never find what real love is about, No doubt, Everything in the world figured out, But I can never seem to find what love is about
Do you think I sacrificed real life, For all the fame and flashing lights? Do you think I sacrifice a real life, For all the fame and flashing lights?
There is no Gucci I can buy, There is no Louis Vuitton to put on, There is no YSL that they could sell, To get my heart out of this hell, And my mind out of this jail, There is no clothes that I could buy, That could turn back the time, There is no vacation spot I could fly, That could bring back a piece of real life, Real life, what does it feel like? I ask you tonight, I ask you tonight, What does it feel like? I ask you tonight, To live a real life I just want to be a real boy, They always say Kanye, he keeps it real boy, Pinocchio story is, I just want to be a real boy, Pinocchio story is to be a real boy,
Its funny Pinocchio lied and thats what kept him from it, I tell the truth and I keep runnin', Its like I'm looking for something out there trying to find something, I turn on the TV and see me and see nothin',
What does it feel like to live real life to be real? Not some facade on tv that no can really feel, Do you really have the stamina? For everybody that sees you and that say, "where's my camera?" For everybody that sees you and says, "sign my autograph" For everybody that sees you cryin' and says, that "you outta laugh" You outta laugh! I just want to be a real boy, Pinocchio story goes, I just want to be a real boy, Pinocchio story goes...
And there is no Gepetto to guide me, no one right beside me, The only one was behind me, I cant find her no more, I cant find her no more I can't... The only one that come out on the tour and scream, scream, scream... Back when I was living at home and this was all a big dream,
And the fame will be got caught, And the day I moved to LA, Maybe that was all my fault, All my fault to be a real boy, Chasing the American dream, Chasing everything we seen, Up on the TV screen, And when I- the Benz was left, And the clothes was left, And the hoes was left, You talk the hoes to death thinkin' the money that the- You spent the doughs to death And tell me what-tf for a real boy
They say, "Kanye you keep it too real boy", Perspective and Wise man say, "One day you'll find your way.", The wise man say, "You'll find your way, The wise man say, "You'll find your way, The wise man say...
I'm currently at at my hotel room and am about to enjoy tonight as my last night now in St. Louis and I can't help but to mention to all my peeps out there that are reading this, that in the end of all things, especially in a relationship there is always something to take back from it. If you didn't call enough, or if you called too much, either way, there is some take back. So just realize that if your not with someone right now, you can at the least take this for a piece of mind. If you were really with that person right now, your mind has already created a path of what you think your life will end up or have in it before it ever happens. Now that it is not a reality anymore, weather good or bad reasons, know that now going forward your future is what you make of it. You don't need anybody to make you happy. First be happy for who you are and what your about, when you hit that level of happiness, finding the right person will come before you know it. Not to ramble on here, but this is my blog and I can do/say what I want. I used to be involved in a relationship where I was the perfect person for her, but she was not for me. Now, although I have had fond memories with this person, it was the best thing for both of us to part from each other. Should I have hate inside me for this? Should I treat people differently? My answer is yes! Yes, but for only for the second question, I will definitely treat people differently going forward after this. I owe it to myself. And one day the right breezy will come along and my days as a single man will be numbered. But at least now I can freely spend time with my friends and meet new people, or catch up with old friends and rekindle the friendship. Yes in the end of it all you can take back from it and move forward, into a future that you solely will create. Make the most of it and enjoy every moment you have. Sidenote: During the same hardships of my last relationship, Kanye West ended his with his Fiance. Not saying my situation was the same as his (maybe, maybe not), but his songs - Love Lockdown & Heartless call out. I can only believe that he is going to release his side of the story and frustration in his new album. I recommend everyone out there to pick it up: 808's & Heartbreak this month. I will.
I'm currently at at my hotel room and am about to enjoy tonight as my last night now in St. Louis and I can't help but to mention to all my peeps out there that are reading this, that in the end of all things, especially in a relationship there is always something to take back from it. If you didn't call enough, or if you called too much, either way, there is some take back. So just realize that if your not with someone right now, you can at the least take this for a piece of mind.
If you were really with that person right now, your mind has already created a path of what you think your life will end up or have in it before it ever happens. Now that it is not a reality anymore, weather good or bad reasons, know that now going forward your future is what you make of it. You don't need anybody to make you happy. First be happy for who you are and what your about, when you hit that level of happiness, finding the right person will come before you know it. Not to ramble on here, but this is my blog and I can do/say what I want. I used to be involved in a relationship where I was the perfect person for her, but she was not for me. Now, although I have had fond memories with this person, it was the best thing for both of us to part from each other. Should I have hate inside me for this? Should I treat people differently? My answer is yes! Yes, but for only for the second question, I will definitely treat people differently going forward after this. I owe it to myself. And one day the right breezy will come along and my days as a single man will be numbered. But at least now I can freely spend time with my friends and meet new people, or catch up with old friends and rekindle the friendship. Yes in the end of it all you can take back from it and move forward, into a future that you solely will create. Make the most of it and enjoy every moment you have.
Sidenote: During the same hardships of my last relationship, Kanye West ended his with his Fiance. Not saying my situation was the same as his (maybe, maybe not), but his songs - Love Lockdown & Heartless call out. I can only believe that he is going to release his side of the story and frustration in his new album. I recommend everyone out there to pick it up: 808's & Heartbreak this month. I will.
