Things Happen For What They Must...

Time passes by, and things change. We grow older, learn from our regrets, and try to catch up with the sands of time. We try to live a better life and make decisions that reflect what we've learned durning our hard times.

No matter how awesome a situation was, relationship you had, or choice that had to be made. Remember, you made them because you felt it was better for you. Now is not the time to regret the path you took that put you where you are today.

Now is the time to atone for the decisions you've made and make sure they happened to you for a reason. Whether you make it a good reason or not depends on your character.

Make the moves that count and try to put yourself back in the spotlight of your choosing.

Just remember, if you're content and happy, don't ever let anyone tell you otherwise. Live your life your way and enjoy what sands of time you have left.

~ S ~

Lessons Learned

How does one really start a post about learning something that they've learned a while ago? Being out here away from my busy life back home has given me some time to force on focusing on myself. It has been really good so far.

A Message For Those Dependent For A Valentine

So here you are.  Your alone on Valentine's Day with nothing better to do then feel like a super lame EMO kid who is one bad rock song away from slitting their wrists.  Well, my advice to you?  Grow the Hell up.  Sorry I couldn't really keep that back but I have to be honest with you.  I've come across so many people who feel "Dependent" on hoping or wishing for a Valentine's sweetie to sweep them off their feet and make them feel like a little angel or expect them to buy this super expensive gift or whatnot.  Seriously, just look at this situation your putting yourself through.  Setting expectations for someone who probably doesn't even know you or know you exist.  Now I know what your thinking, "Damn, Saúl is being a jerk right now, he must really hate Valentine's Day."  What I would say to you is that your assumption couldn't be far from accurate about my view on Valentine's Day.  I literary enjoy that day completely.  Being the attractive and superb bachelor that I am, it's so sad when I come across females that I might be interested in at this time of year, and they "break down" when they are single during this time of the year. They feel like their world is gonna end or that it's more like "Single Awareness Day" then anything else.  Truth be told, your life is what you make of it.  If you are currently mad at me while reading this post then you maybe one of the many who feel that they "Need" to be with someone so that they can be happy.  Spend the day with your family if it bothers you that much.  Hang out with friends if you feel the need to be around people other then your family.  Again, my apologies if I've offended you but the reality is you need to take a step back and appreciate yourself for who YOU ARE before you can make the next step of receiving that appreciation from someone else.  The equivalent is that one girl in your group of friends that need to have the most attention or material possessions just to feel better about themselves, aka Gold Diggers.  And in case you are wondering, I do have an awesome day planned for Valentine's thanks for asking.  In the meantime in between time, keep your eyes here for new posts.  

Keep it Funky, Keep it Fresh, and I'll catch you on the Flipside.

~S~

A Benefit for Rhiannon Bahena (Kennedy)

Click on the Image for full details.

A BENEFIT FOR A GOOD FRIEND LOST AT A YOUNG AGE.

PLEASE SHARE THIS EVENT!

TELL EVERYONE YOU KNOW!

Rhiannon's Obituary
Donate - Rhiannon Bahena (Kennedy) Foundation

Join And Share The Facebook Event Invite

There will be a benefit held celebrating Rhiannon Bahena and all proceeds will go to her children. Rhiannon was special to us all, now let's show how much we care. Do your part and spread the word!

Rhiannon Bahena passed away on Friday September 2nd 2011 from a terrible motorcycle accident and was taken from us too soon. She left behind two precious children that are going to need all the support they can get from family and friends.

Show your support on Saturday September 24th to help raise money for her children. It will be wonderful to have everyone together whose lives have been touched by such a beautiful, caring, amazing woman and mother. This is not a mourning of her death but a celebration of her life and how she will live on in the lives of her children.

• There will be a DJ Playing Music All Night •
• 50/50 Raffle* and Silent Auction* •

ALL PROCEEDS ARE GOING TO HER CHILDREN!
*Please bring money to bid on items

Silent auction items will include gift certificates to different restaurants downtown, Chicago White Sox Tickets, autographed baseball, Bears Tickets, 2 paintings of Rhiannon, etc.

For Questions, please contact Melissa Conway at:
Phone - 219.545.2108 | Email - melissoxway@gmail.com

Midnight Thoughts: Misleading Light...

You were mine. . . Light to my eyes. All the joy and happiness I had, never was there sad day to be had when you were near. Then you said good-bye and darkness came. . . Cast upon my eyes like a blanket that could not be removed. Now here I sit wondering what will come. . . Night has fallen on my heart and I will never know why. . . Why did you go? Why did you say good-bye?

Midnight Thoughts: Unexplained...

I stare upon an empty space.  I only see your face and regrets of things we didn't do shall never leave my mind.  We reached, and grasped at things we could not have and forgot the things we did.  No words of love can mend this now.  The past is long behind us.  Be ever there in my dreams but never in my prayers.  For you love another I shall not.  My heart shall not forgive...

Midnight Thoughts: Letting Me Go...

Just when I was completely getting over you after months of you ignoring my existence, you send me a text and killed all my effort to forget about you... Now I'm stuck not knowing the ways to forget you and move on...Why can't you let me move on from this heartbreak?

Midnight Thoughts: Emotional Wanderings

Normally I would post up my next chapter in Heart Carvings, which I will really soon. However I thought I would take the time to put out some good thoughts to keep the mind wandering.

“Sex is more than an act of pleasure, its' the ability to be able to feel so close to a person, so connected, so comfortable that it's almost breathtaking to the point you feel you can’t take it. And at this moment you're a part of them.”

“Nobody dies from lack of sex. It's lack of love we die from.”

“To love is to suffer. To avoid suffering, one must not love. But then, one suffers from not loving. Therefore, to love is to suffer; not to love is to suffer; to suffer is to suffer. To be happy is to love. To be happy, then, is to suffer, but suffering makes one unhappy. Therefore, to be happy, one must love or love to suffer or suffer from too much happiness.”

The Relationship Story Episode 15: Bitter Moments (Colorblind)

The Relationship Story

Written By: Saúl Acevedo

Episode 15

Bitter Moments (Colorblind)

Alex lays in his bed staring at the ceiling of his place.  Eyes red, dry, and also tired.  He tilts his head to his left side and there is a torn picture in his hand, showing his face and what seems to be another person.  The other person's face is ripped off and color on the photo worn out as if it was left out in the rain.  To the right, there is a half eaten bowl of soup and his wallet, sprawled open.  His place full of color and new furnishings.  His phone beeps and he sluggishly reaches for his phone, which displays a text message saying, "I guess it just wasn't the right time, I'm sure things will get better for you.  I'm sorry for what I did...Good Luck...I'm gonna miss you. XOXO" 

Alex gets up and takes his time getting ready.  He takes a long shower, staying in deep thought, makes his way out from the shower into the sink and mirror.  He takes a moment to dry himself off and then glance at the mirror in front of him.  In the mirror Alex see's his defined jaw line and neatly trimmed facial hair.  Around his right eye is almost completely shut and areas of black and blue surround his face.  He stares in the mirror for a moment and then continues to get ready for the day.  

As Alex begins to put on his sneakers and head out the door, he stops himself and goes back into his bedroom, grabs the torn photo and goes out the door.  He gets in his car and takes a moment to look at the photo.

"Lexi...I'm so sorry..." as one tear streams down his face his whispers again..."I'm sorry, I just don't wanna bring you in this."  He starts his car and heads out from his city, very drawn away from the sunny fall day that is presented to him.  He starts down the expressway and then gets a phone call.  Alex glances over to it and then takes a good look at this hurt eye in the rearview mirror.  He then picks it up and answers.  "Hey...how are you doing?" and an exhausted yet cheery voice toned in, "I-I'm, good.  More importantly how are you baby?" she asks.  "I'll be fine. Just a little banged up.  I'm on my way. I should be there in about 30 mins."  Alex replies.  "Baby it's okay, I'm worried about you. I've been thinking about you non-stop. I think that must really mean something, you know, about us?"  She says.  Alex takes a deep breath in an almost annoyed and tired fashion and says, "Look Angelica, I'll be there soon we got a lot of things to talk about." Angelica replies back, "Hey babe, I'm just happy I get to see you again, I swear it must mean something.  I always knew that you were here to save me."  Alex gets off the phone and focuses on his highway driving.  He gets lost in most of the drive and begins to think to himself...

"What was I supposed to do?"

"What am I gonna do now?" 

"Am I supposed to be here?"

He reaches for his torn picture, quickly glances at it, cracks a small smile and then holds it to his chest.  "I'm really gonna miss you Lexi, I hope doing what I did was the right thing to do. I pray for you to find your happiness and that one day I'll find mine." He places the torn picture on his car sun visor and on the edge of it, the paper is curled, showing some writing behind it.  "2 Lonely Strangers - 1 Strong Love - Your Babygirl, Lexi" 

Video Link: HERE

I choose The Counting Crows for the next installment into this story.  The song is "Colorblind" and possibly one of this most emotional musical songs I have heard.  The piano riff and slowing tempo really bring out the emotion in this song.  In this song it talks about being imperfect, and not ready but at the same time needed to be saved and not being able to be save at the same time.  This is the beginning story arc for the rest of the story to be told here with Alex, a young man coming of age and also becoming more in tune with himself then he ever thought he would be.  There is a missing piece to this story, what is it?  What happened to Alex and Lexi?  Maybe next episode will shed some light on the situation. 

Walking Down This Empty Hallway (Midnight Thoughts)

Walking down this empty hallway of my heart, I see the cracks in the wall, showing the worn-down damage that was made when we parted ways. Moving down more, I see what other cracks and chips that have been made in my lifetime and hope that one can look past what I've been and give my heart another shot at being whole again. Instead of being looked at like it can never withstand the weather of another storm, it may seem fragile but has been through the most pain anyone has seen. Until then, one can only move on and make the best of what they experienced. And maybe one day this empty hallway can be filled again with great new memories and hope for better times. Love can power the soul to move again. And give others the hope and will to keep the faith. God Bless and Goodnight!

This World Destroyed...

So, this may mark the end of our story, yet my story telling hasn't even hit the halfway mark.  You reach back into my world looking for answers, yet I haven't found any clues leading to mine.  Great times, sweet memories, and also bad ones too.  Which ones out weight the others?  Would the timespan, the amounts of laughs and thoughts of great memories move the clouds away of the bad ones?  Or will the storm that shook this world and left it for dead keep it forever changed?  Mountains moved and destroyed, volcanoes lay there now.  Clear blue waters, oceans filled with life...gone...replaced with soot and gravel from debris of a lost people....

This World Destroyed...

So, this may mark the end of our story, yet my story telling hasn't even hit the halfway mark.  You reach back into my world looking for answers, yet I haven't found any clues leading to mine.  Great times, sweet memories, and also bad ones too.  Which ones out weight the others?  Would the timespan, the amounts of laughs and thoughts of great memories move the clouds away of the bad ones?  Or will the storm that shook this world and left it for dead keep it forever changed?  Mountains moved and destroyed, volcanoes lay there now.  Clear blue waters, oceans filled with life...gone...replaced with soot and gravel from debris of a lost people....

The Relationship Story Episode 14: New Beginning (Text Me)

The Relationship Story

Written By: Saúl Acevedo

Episode 14

New Beginning (Text Me)

Unknown: "So, that was a crazy night last night huh babe? I can't believe how well U moved on da dance floor! lol! :)" 

"Hmmm..." Alex thought to himself, as he was getting into Derwin's ride for the ritual game of football the guys play almost every Sunday.  The day was usually filled with talks of dominating the opposite sex, beer swelling, wing eating, sports talk and the occasional story from "Back in the Day".    But this time, Alex thinks that he is in store for something a little different.  He scrolls back to the same text message left for him and then cracks a little smile.  He replies back;

Alex: "Yeah, I drank so much I couldn't even remember my buddies name. lol!  So how was UR night?" 

Alex, not having any clue to who he was talking too, felt a little foolish for giving his number to someone he has no recollection of.  He thinks out loud, "Oh man I hope this is not a line backer."  Derwin looks at him and says, "*Linebacker?  Please Alex, there were no signs of linebackers at any of the nightspots we went too.  I was pretty taken back at all the attention we were getting, and you have some badass mami's on your jock bro." Alex, gives a delightful exhale of air and forgets about his little inbox situation and enjoys the afternoon with his guys.

[Later that Evening]

Alex sits on his summer chair on his balcony looking on as the day goes by, he goes through he normal call routine of reaching his parents and siblings that he hasn't had the time to talk to this week and plays catch-up.  The moment he ends his last call from his sister his phone alerts, showing he has a new text message.

Unknown: "Oh wow sweetie, U must have been really drunk, I hope U didn't forget my name?  I didn't forget URS. :)"

"Oh...Shit..." Alex says, having no clue who is on the other end of this conversation, all he knew was that it was someone he met, and he has all of her attention.  

Alex: "Well, maybe U did 4get my name? How do I know U remember mine? Maybe UR the one who was really drunk last night. :)"

Trying to buy himself sometime, Alex goes back and checks his wallet and clothes from last night to see if he can muster any clues.  He finds a business card from some accounting firm with some pen writing, it carries the same phone number listed on his phone.  "Alexandra Hernandez"  he said.  Grabbing his phone, he checks the inbox;

Unknown: "Com'on Alex! Are ya serious? How could I forget ur name? It's the same as mine!  Remember we were joking bout dat at the Leg Room? lol"

Immediately the lonely loner gets a short blurry flashback of what transpired last night, making out some details and his eyes light up.

Alex: "Yeah ur right, I remember u. You were something fierce that night. And u perfer Lexi then Alex, right? lol! )

Lexi: "That's right papi, I knew I would B A hard one to 4get! lol. So, R U gonna keep your promise 2 me?" 

Alex: "Promise? I don't remember any promise at all.  What are you talking about? O_o?"

Lexi: "You know the one about going salsa dancing if u lose and me cooking dinner 4U if u win."

Alex, thinking back to his fragments of memories regarding last night's adventure, replies back;

Alex: "Oh yeah kinda. So when are we going to the Salsa club? A bet's a bet.  :-( j/k"

Lexi: "Exactly hunny but ur the one who won. I lost the drinking contest, you took more shots of petron then I did. lol! Yo ass was real drunk! :)"

By this time Alex is going through his picture messages and digital camera to see if there is any clue to remembering what Lexi looks like, she sounds very sexy over the phone, but Alex also has standards and a specific type.  He checks his phone's camera roll and see photos of him posted up with this beautiful brunette hair woman with a fit curvy figure, and amazingly icy blue eyes. They continue to exchange text messages through out the evening and exchanging the "I don't normally do this but..." banter with his new found friend.  Getting to learn more and more about this beautiful creature that just happened to cross paths with him.  

Lexi: "So pa, what u looking 2 do tonight? Have any big plans to close out your weekend? lol"

Alex: "Naw, nothing that I can recall really. lol! Just taken the rest of this sunday chillin' at home. And U?"

Lexi: "Same here. So the questions is, if you don't have any real plans, do you want some? ;)"

Alex: "Oh really? What did you have in mind ma?"

Lexi: "Well maybe you can get ready and meet me over at The Green Door Tavern. We can meet for another drink, that is if your stomach is up to it? lol! ;)"

Alex: "Hmm sounds really nice and all but I don't think my stomach can handel it, but I would love to take a raincheck if that's possible? ;-)"

Lexi: "Oh playing hard 2 get huh? I can understand that. How about this, we meet up either @ ur place or mine this coming week & I'll do my deed of making dinner 4 u? :)"

Alex: "Ok. That sounds good babe. How does this coming Friday sound? You busy?"

Lexi: "Friday sounds great, but there is one problem."

Alex: "What's that?"

Lexi: "You'll just have to picture me in my nighty right now till you get to see me again. Hope you can handle it!"

Alex: "Maybe you can give me a little idea on how sexy UR looking tonight ma? Unless your chicken...lol!"

Lexi: "Well, take a look at this and tell me if I'm chicken. See you this Friday Heartbreaker! XOXO ;)"

Alex takes a look at the photo, and is taken back a bit.  He then gives a sly smile and thinks to himself. "Of all the things I could have gotten myself into, I find myself here, with this smoking hot babe wanting my undying attention and all I can do is sit here and laugh." He begins to get things ready for his work week and gets ready for bed.  He lays down and looks up at his spinning ceiling fan. So happy inside for more then obvious reasons but because he knew that it was possible to forget and move on.  And his new beginning starts now....

Video Link: HERE

There is an obvious reason why I choose this song, there is no music video for it.  However, this songs speaks for itself.  R. Kelly does it again with this steamy jam talking about how 150 character messages can turn into an erotic encounter over the cellular waves. Our lonely loner doesn't seem to be that lonely anymore, but that doesn't mean he has stopped wandering to find out his true emotional potential. Stay here for the next installment of "The Relationship Story".  Hope you liked this episode and God Bless Everyone!

*Linebacker - A decidedly square girl, lacking in neck area, with a broad torso and disproportionate legs. This girl appears to be wearing shoulderpads bearing a strong resemblance to Mike Singletary. Hence the term "LINEBACKER"

The Relationship Story Episode 13: Support (The Best Man I Can Be)

The Relationship Story

Written By: Saúl Acevedo

Episode 13

Support

The alarm buzzes annoyingly while the doorbell rings.  A sluggish and cold-sweat filled loner begins to get up from what appears to be a violent night's sleep.  The doorbell goes off again, and Alex can make out a muffled voice calling his name.  He turns around and sees that his tie and dress shirt from last night have an interesting blue tint to them.  He checks himself and realizes that he spent the night praying to the porcelain god to take his pain away from all the drinking he did, and some of his shirt and tie were part of the sacrifice.  Alex begins to make his way to the door, checks his peep hole and becomes blinded by the sunshine coming through, unable to make out who is at the door, he pulls the door open and he finally realizes it was his best bud, Derwin. "Hey crazy ass, how you been?" Derwin asked.  "Man, I don't know what the fuck happened last night." Alex replied.  The alarm still buzzing in his bedroom, Alex pats himself down while Derwin begins to talk with him.  "Hey bro, you got mad drunk last night, and you were doing some crazy shit too.  We were kicking back enjoy the ladies and then you got silly drunk. " Alex begins half hearing Derwin and becomes more interested in something else, he begins to stumble around the house, looking in all the drawers and closets in his place while making his way to his bedroom.  "Hold on a sec Derwin, I gotta find something!" Alex shouted from one end of his condo.  Entering his room, he found most of his clothes from last night scattered everywhere and then hears a short quick buzz, having trouble to pin point it, he shuts the alarm off and waits to hear it again.  "Hey Alex, everything alright?" Derwin shouts back.  "Y-Yeah, just give me a moment." He hears the buzz again, but this time find the source location in his room.  He rummages around last nights outfit and then finds what he was looking for, his cellphone.  "Damn, I knew it, I have missed messages." Alex checks his phones inbox to find he has 2 missed calls and 1 unread text message.  Not concern about it at the moment, he turn his attention to his guest, Derwin.  "Sorry bro, I needed to find my phone." Alex replied.  The two sit down and begin to talk about last night.  "Hey dude, is everything ok?" Derwin asks again.  "Yeah, I just needed to find my phone." Alex replied, sitting down on the couch helping himself to some water.  "No, not that bro, you have seemed a little off lately, you know like an "I don't give a shit" type of mentality but a little off then normal." Derwin continued, "Last night we had a blast but for some reason it wasn't like you.  If there is something up let me know bro."  Alex gets up to get some more water and says,  "Well, I just been thinking a lot lately, you know, about life and shit.  I mean look at all the shit that's changed around us, life around us is changing and things are kinda bullshit.  At least to me they are."  Derwin replies back, "Well, what are you talking about bro?  Things have been great lately, I've got my shit jumping off at work with a new promotion and you are back in the wild of single-hood, I'm sure you've been collecting on some rain checks like crazy huh?"  Alex chuckles a bit, and sways his head in a humorous fashion, avoiding the questions asked of him.  "Look, it's not like that for me, at least not right now, just got some things on my mind bro.  I need to clear some of it out."  Alex replies back.  Alex's phone beeps and buzzes again, but alex continues with his conversation with Derwin, "Look bro I don't really know how to say this, but just be thankful for the life you have you know?"  Derwin looks in confusion, but waits for the deeper thought in Alex waiting to come out.  "You have a good girl waiting for you and so do most of the other guys, now a days, it's just too much to chance or sacrifice just for a night of fun.  I don't know really what more I can say except that, I thought that Angelica was it, and now it's gone, all gone..."  Alex muttered, feeling a loss of pride and dignity saying what he felt around one of his closest friends in his whole life, but never talked to on that level.  Derwin was at first quite, and then stood up and said, "I know how you feel.  Things can be hard sometimes and what really matters is what we do after we fall, and try not to dwell on what made us fall down, it's what we do to rise again that defines us."  Alex turn around and was quite, looking off into the sunny outdoors from the window of his condo, and then continued.  "Derwin, this is all just fucked up and I don't really know If I should even make the effort any more, I just want to be a fuckin' jerk to everyone in my life, and the shitty part is, these same people had nothing to do with it, but because I don't feel avenged, I think that this feeling won't go away.  I don't know what to do."  Derwin replied back, "Alex, it's will get better bro, your stronger then this man, maybe now is not the right time to be going out and doing like you did when you were single.  Just give it some time bro, me and the guys will be here for you if you need someone to talk too."  Alex gained some color on his face and was a little bit less pale and sick to his stomach.  Derwin gets a phone call and picks up to answer the call, it was the rest of their best friends, they were meeting at the local football field to play a quick game before lunch that day.  Alex thinks back out loud, "Oh shit that's right, our game today with the rest of the guys, I'll get ready."  Our lonely loner feeling a little bit more energized then before starts to get ready for the day of bullet passes, greasy wings, and some draft beers, yes it looks like this beginning to anew had a great start, and our lonely loner had found support to help storm the bad weathers ahead.  As Alex finishes getting ready, Derwin jokingly said, "On the real bro, yo ass was crazy last night, I don't even know how many times you whipped your phone out for numbers." Alex battle back, "Whatever man, I may be a little fucked up right now, but I'm not stupid.  I'll take as many numbers as I can get, even if I don't remember doing that."  They both laugh and as Alex reaches for his phone, he views the unread notifications on his phone, he sees a missed call from a number not in his phonebook and an unread text message from that same number.  He begins to check the message and his eyes light up from what he reads from it.  

Case, Ginuwine, Tyrese, & R.L. - The Best Man I Can Be

Video Link: HERE

This song represents the best support system that any guy could have, his crew.  They will always be there, they will offer support, even when they may not know completely what is going on, but in the end, what matters is that they have each other's back, no matter what.  This song contains a great collaboration between a some of the most noticeable R&B artist in the industry during the late 90's.  So what was in that text message in Alex's phone?  We'll have to see in the next chapter.  God Bless you all!

For all the lame females in the World, you are on Notice!

I used this blog to jot down any thoughts that I carry inside that may be too real to speak about, or too close to reveal about, for all to see.  The real me, the person that makes everyone laugh, can carry you to your car if your too drunk to walk, and sometimes the one that can help you back on your feet when your let down, or even hurt.   I had paused a lot of my work on here and in my personal life to focus more on work and dive deep into what I needed to do to be the best there ever was, and to be in place and reach that brass ring, no matter how dirty it is.  Well, I reached and I fell...
So this would be the part where I start to talk up a big game for myself and I promise everyone that I'll be able to make it through.  And I'm sure I will, but that doesn't even touch what I would like to address.  I'm not normally someone who tells tales of the inner dark areas of my closet, but tonight I've been inspired too.  First and fore most, I have become completely disappointed in most of the female gender that I know.  "Why?"  You ask me?  Well, it's quite simple really.  I placed a good amount of trust into someone about 2 years ago and also gave my time and energy to not just make the relationship work but also build this person's self confidence.  What do I get for it?  Someone who lies and takes the value of love ones hold of them for granted, just to not only burn themselves but those around them.  I am one of those that got burned...point sighted...And from that I have taken a complete back seat when it came to matters of love or a girl who wants to date me.  I do this because there hasn't been anyone in my life that has any tangible value or good moral up bringing that I feel deserves me.

Now I know that you would think I'm talking coincided or that I have a big ego, but realize that I do have a big a EGO!  I have an ego because I have no one close in my life that can truly share my accomplishments, and help me recover from my failures, so I gas myself up to feel better when I'm down, and treat myself out when I deserve it.  And it is a god damn shame that I live in a time and place where women don't act like women they act like young children, I know guys can be stupid and immature but I'm not one of them, stop comparing me to the last 5 loser douches you dated.  Now I'm sure that you would tell me, "Well you are meeting all the wrong women, find someone on your level."  And If you did I would laugh in your face, because there is no one on my level, finding someone who is single like me, independent like me, has no kids like me, and around my age and maturity is like finding a resolution to world peace, we talk about it like it will happen sometime soon, but we all know deep down inside that it won't.  I've given my share of opportunities, I've dated single mother's, women who have been married, and ones who have had been through either scenarios, and normal single women whom people thought were a good match for me.  It just hasn't worked out... 

THE RELATIONSHIP STORY -
This story is about a lot of the trials and situations that one young man doesn't expect to go through, but when he does he realizes more about himself then he ever has before.  I will continue this story and complete it by the end of 2010.  This story has some situations that I have gone through myself and some that I have heard of, but the point of this is that not everything dramatic happens to these "victims" other wise known as women.  Men go through this shit too, we just hide it better.  I plan on completing it near the year's end and plan to create something out of it.  But the point is, women cry for this "Knight in shining Armor" to save them, when in reality, you've fucked up your own life and you just want someone to come and settle for you and your failures. 

So in closing, I just wanted to be able to share to you all my thoughts, love me or hate me, just know that I will never fail to keep it fresh, funky and most of all real.

~ Saúl Acevedo ~

Trey Songz - New Music - More Music Videos

For all the lame females in the World, you are on Notice!

I used this blog to jot down any thoughts that I carry inside that may be too real to speak about, or too close to reveal about, for all to see.  The real me, the person that makes everyone laugh, can carry you to your car if your too drunk to walk, and sometimes the one that can help you back on your feet when your let down, or even hurt.   I had paused a lot of my work on here and in my personal life to focus more on work and dive deep into what I needed to do to be the best there ever was, and to be in place and reach that brass ring, no matter how dirty it is.  Well, I reached and I fell...
So this would be the part where I start to talk up a big game for myself and I promise everyone that I'll be able to make it through.  And I'm sure I will, but that doesn't even touch what I would like to address.  I'm not normally someone who tells tales of the inner dark areas of my closet, but tonight I've been inspired too.  First and fore most, I have become completely disappointed in most of the female gender that I know.  "Why?"  You ask me?  Well, it's quite simple really.  I placed a good amount of trust into someone about 2 years ago and also gave my time and energy to not just make the relationship work but also build this person's self confidence.  What do I get for it?  Someone who lies and takes the value of love ones hold of them for granted, just to not only burn themselves but those around them.  I am one of those that got burned...point sighted...And from that I have taken a complete back seat when it came to matters of love or a girl who wants to date me.  I do this because there hasn't been anyone in my life that has any tangible value or good moral up bringing that I feel deserves me.

Now I know that you would think I'm talking coincided or that I have a big ego, but realize that I do have a big a EGO!  I have an ego because I have no one close in my life that can truly share my accomplishments, and help me recover from my failures, so I gas myself up to feel better when I'm down, and treat myself out when I deserve it.  And it is a god damn shame that I live in a time and place where women don't act like women they act like young children, I know guys can be stupid and immature but I'm not one of them, stop comparing me to the last 5 loser douches you dated.  Now I'm sure that you would tell me, "Well you are meeting all the wrong women, find someone on your level."  And If you did I would laugh in your face, because there is no one on my level, finding someone who is single like me, independent like me, has no kids like me, and around my age and maturity is like finding a resolution to world peace, we talk about it like it will happen sometime soon, but we all know deep down inside that it won't.  I've given my share of opportunities, I've dated single mother's, women who have been married, and ones who have had been through either scenarios, and normal single women whom people thought were a good match for me.  It just hasn't worked out... 

THE RELATIONSHIP STORY -
This story is about a lot of the trials and situations that one young man doesn't expect to go through, but when he does he realizes more about himself then he ever has before.  I will continue this story and complete it by the end of 2010.  This story has some situations that I have gone through myself and some that I have heard of, but the point of this is that not everything dramatic happens to these "victims" other wise known as women.  Men go through this shit too, we just hide it better.  I plan on completing it near the year's end and plan to create something out of it.  But the point is, women cry for this "Knight in shining Armor" to save them, when in reality, you've fucked up your own life and you just want someone to come and settle for you and your failures. 

So in closing, I just wanted to be able to share to you all my thoughts, love me or hate me, just know that I will never fail to keep it fresh, funky and most of all real.

~ Saúl Acevedo ~

Trey Songz - New Music - More Music Videos

The Relationship Story Episode 12: Breather (Every Girl)

The Relationship Story

Written By: Saúl Acevedo

Episode 12

Breather

It's a cool Friday night and our lonely loner has been keeping away from the distractions that have kept him from keeping his life together.  He stows away all the items that have carried a resemblance of what was.  He wallows in his quite apartment trying to figure out if it's really worth doing anything normal, be it being eating, going to work, or picking up after himself.  The clock ticks half passed 8 and all our wanderer can do is stare at the ceiling playing song after song while he contemplates if he should really give a fuck about anything today.  His phone rings, his sleepy red eyes turn in the direction of the light blazing from his phone.  He picks up, "Ehhum...yeah..." he mutters.  "Yo Alex!  Hey Bitch, you up?"  the caller asks.  "Y-Yeah, I'm up.  What's going on Derwin?"  I was one of his best friends, part of "The Pack" if you will.  Derwin was always there when things went down, even though no actual words of emotion actually traveled during these hard times.  Guys don't do that, at least real guys.  "So Alex, what's up?  What you doing?"  Derwin asks.  "Um, nothing just chilling at home, about to take a nap."  "Nap?  Did you say NAP?!" Derwin exclaimed.  "It's Friday night we just got faded from work and all you wanna do is NAP?  Alex, I'm gonna go out to the bars tonight downtown.  The guys are rolling through too, you should come." Derwin suggested.  "I don't know man, I haven't shaved or anything.  I'm still working with today's funk."  Alex replied.  "That's why I called you now bro, you haven't gone out in a while.  You need to relax and just chill this weekend.  It'll be good for ya, plus I need a good wing man, an-" "I don't feel like going out tonight D, how about tomorrow?"  Alex miffed.  "Hey man, let's be real hear, when do we really get a chance to kick it like this?  I need to just get out there and take in the good life."  Derwin continued, "And the fact that you haven't really given a chance to go out after officially being single, you need to get your ass back out there and pimp!"  He explained.  "Ok D, you got it, give me about 45 mins, swing by and pick me up, I wanna get blasted drunk, if we do this, I don't wanna drive tonight." Alex stated.  "Sure thang bro, I'll see you then." Derwin hangs up the phone.  "Oh man, I need to get up."  Alex exclaimed to himself as he gets up from his body warped mattress, he proceeds to enter the showers and go through all the changes to change from the emotionally broken man he is to the swag filled, charmer, pretty boy wing man he was with his "Pack".

(2 hours Later)

Glasses clinking together from our lonely loner who, at the moment wasn't that lonely.  In fact, he had a table full of women along side his best friend, charming the panties off them all.  "So, did you ladies hear about what happened at the MTV awards show?"  Alex asked the group, which continued into a hilarious story about a hometown artist complaining about the method of how and award was given.  The group began to giggle and cackle with excitement like a cage full of hens about to feed.  Drink after drink entered and left the glasses held by our lonely loner, and when the D.J. was on point with his set, Alex would grab a couple of the honeys and bring them over to the dance floor for a drunken mess of a grindfest.  As the night went on, from bar to bar, dance club to dance club, and lounge to lounge, the two smooth talking players of the nightlife continued grabbing number after number.  At one point in the night, the two entered into the local dowtown hot spot, Angle Eyez.  Alex attempted to challenge Derwin into who could be a more extreme pickup king.  Derwin laughed back, "Your crazy man!"  Then Alex proceeded to find a couple and moved in kissing this guys girlfriend right in front of him.  "Oh Shit Alex!  What the fuck are you doing?"  Derwin exclaimed.  "Nothing that hasn't been done before..."  He moves in for the kiss, the girl completely surprised pulled back and shoved him away yelling back, "What a drunk douche bag!"  Alex gave one drunk glare at her and said, "Please girl, I just did you a favor, now you know how it is to kiss a real man!"  Her boyfriend proceeded to swing at our lonely loner in anger, and amidst his drunken state, he dodge it and shoved him back, now being held by security, both men at yelling at each other, spewing profanities back and forth begin to make a huge scene in the nightclub.  "Hey buddy, I was doing you a favor by kissing her!  She would have done it behind your back with someone else anyways!  At least I have enough respect for you to do it in your face!" Alex shouted.  Derwin moves in and takes Alex outside and the two make their exit from that night spot and Derwin asks, "Dude. What-The-Fuck? What the hell is running through your mind to make you do that?"  "Nothing D.  Shit, I was doing what would have happened anyways, I did that punk a favor!"  Alex replied.  "Alex, are you hungry bro?  You want to get some tacos or some food?" Derwin suggested, knowing that the conversation was gonna end up into one he was really prepared to handle at that point and time. "Fuck yeah, I want some tacos bro, let's dip out of here."  The two enter the parking lot and leave downtown, with our lonely loner's perception completely questionable and Derwin amazed with the events that just happened.  "Hey Alex...Alex...Alex you awake?"  Derwin questioned.  "Y-Yeah, what the fuck man I'm up.  Let's eat."  Alex replied.  "Dude we get back home and then it's time to get you out of this trance or spell your in."  Derwin said.  "Whatever bro, just get me home or to some fucking food!" 

Lil Wayne Feat Young Money - Every Girl / NEW
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Video HERE

This video is pretty much self explanatory.. Lil' Wayne and the Young Money group explain how it is sometimes to love and give love to all the women in the world.  It is also introducing a new beginning of sorts for our lonely loner.  He seems to have lost faith in the bound of honesty, trust and faithfulness that should accompany a relationship.  and is taking his frustrations out on the new women he meets so far.  How long will this last?  What could happen next?  I guess we;ll have to wait for the next installment of The Relationship Story to find out.  Until then, God Bless! 

The Relationship Story Episode 11: Velvet Reflection (Street Lights)

The Relationship Story

Written By: Saúl Acevedo

Episode 11

Velvet Reflection

The fog from the day's humid weather plagues the lonely loner's view while driving off into the night. As he parts ways for a second time, twice feeling the same shame and foolishness of putting his trust out there, he can only be filled with anger again. He continues his drive away from the events that have just transpired before his eyes, and with the actions he took in defending himself, he finds that he is a long far way from home, and not from a physical aspect but in a emotional aspect. He passes town after town to put his mind at ease and then discovers a small rest stop. He pulls in to refuel his ride and to take a break from his mind, his thoughts, and his emotions, all of which seem to be taking their toll on the wanderer's frame of mind. He thinks back into all that has happened to him the past months and how he has dealt with it all. "What's wrong with me?" he mutters to himself. "I put myself out there, trust her like I never did anyone in my life and tried my best to make it work." He proceeds to finish prepping for his journey back home and takes a moment to just stare up into the night's sky and catch the moon shining down. "Wow. The moon is really bright tonight." And instantly he recalls a heart felt moment in his life. "Life's just unfair. That's got it be it. I can't believe all this is so...real." He convinces himself. Our lonely loner happens to hear some light giggling and laughter behind him. As he turns to take a look, he is presented with a display of affection from a couple. She's continues to laugh and giggle her way past our lonely loner and make her way into her boyfriends arms. Alex looks lost, and gazes for a moment, to see if there is a reason for this interaction to take place in his presence. "I told you babe, it was gonna be a full moon! Someone owes me a kiss!" she belts out. "Alright-Alright you got lucky this time, I give up! Your too much!" he replies back to her, the two embrace each other and slowly kiss. Alex stares on for a little moment longer and turns away, walking back to his vehicle and begins to make his way back home. As he drives home all he can do is muster a quivering sense of loss, grief, denial, and regret. Our lonely loner has been wronged and by the one source of life he felt he had. Dealing with the loss of a loved one is hard, adding the reasoning of not feeling love along with it, takes the cut deeper. Having all the pain, stress and loss of hope that he has felt in the last portion of the year has made him feel very insecure and worthless. He begins to speed higher then the normal limit to reach his home destination in a timely manner. As he presses his foot on the gas pedal, he thinks back to all that he has done, and rethinks actions and decisions he made during his time with his former love. The talks of marriage that they had, the goals of raising a family together, all GONE. The street lights begin flowing past him like the memories in his mind. Some great, some sad, some even proving the worth of his affection and love. An now he plays games with himself and begins tricking himself for the moment that this wasn't real. He begins to approach his home town and make his way down the normal pathway to this place. "I can't wait to get home. I just want this night to be over." He thinks to himself. As he pulls into his driveway and makes his way into his home. He then prepares for bed in an almost panic type manner. He walks upstairs to his upper level balcony and stands by the edge, looking out into the quite night sky and begins to close his thoughts down for the night. Holding in his left hand a small black velvet box, holding it so carefully and then taking the time to open it up, revealing a princess cut 3 karat diamond engagement ring. With a froggy throat, red-teared eyes and the ring in his hand he looks up and says, "I loved someone so much that I wanted to share my life with them till my dying day. And now I sit here locked away in my room and prisoned with all my emotions, trying to free myself." Putting the ring away and placing the velvet box in the secret place he always kept it, our wanderer has finally begun the first true drop in this roller coaster of a heartbreak...acceptance. He now has to completely accept his situation and begin to make the changes that will further advance the healing process and hopefully help him find the right path in his journey.

Kanye West - Street Lights

I selected Kanye West's "Street Lights" because the song places in reflection of ones' self. We all need to give each other a self analysis every now and then, to honor what we owe to ourselves, and to make sure we are living up to the deserving expectations that significant other deserves. If we don't assess what we need to improve on, then you have already set yourself up for failure. In this case, Alex is now seeing that to embrace his new strength, he must first endure all the hardships and emotions dealt to him from this heartbreak. Only then, can one finally see what they have been searching for. The video portion of this song is an independent film makers concept of this song and I love it. It has a lot of realism to it and embraces the journey one must take to being the first steps of putting the pieces back together. Till, next time. God Bless and Good Night!

The Relationship Story: Episode 10: Remorse (We Belong Together)

The Relationship Story

Written By: Saúl Acevedo

Episode 10

Remorse

The calm cool night air flows through her soft long brown hair. She looks up from the passenger window of her cab and stares up at the pattern of stars and the moon above. She never really cared about small things like that but he showed her that no matter how small something was, there was great in all. She cracks a small smile, and in her mind she flashes back to better days, when she was cuddled deep in Alex's arms and they never separated from each other. The radio plays from the taxi cabs' car and belts out a song that reminded her about the one that showed her she was special, a true genuine person. She begins to think about all the memories they had and how he put his heart out there for her time and time again.

(Flashback)

Alex: Hey Angelica, you are exactly the kind of woman I want in my life. Your so, bright in life, look for good in all, and carry yourself in such an innocent way, almost like a child, it makes you so adorable I can't resist you sometimes, I realized I got a lot of feelings for you. In my past relationships, I have struggled with the reality of showing my inner emotions. You break all that down and make it natural for me, and I thank you for that. I love you...

Angelica: Oh baby, you do the same for me too. I always loved you but didn't want to say it because if you knew that I cared about you the way I did, I would become so vulnerable and be putting myself out there to get hurt real bad.

Alex: I would never do you wrong like that, I care about you so much, I even thought about me and you one day making it official and begin to start our lives with each other. I believe that we love each other so much, we know not to take advantage of it and use it to hurt on another...

(Flashback Ends)

"I'm so stupid." Angelica belts out. "I shouldn't have done this to him. He was so much better then the rest, why did I have to be so weak?" The cab begins to make it's final turn to Angelicas' Apt. She lived in a quite decent area uptown, in a Apt complex, very close to main highways needed to visit her former love. She pays the cabbie and proceeds to enter her apt. and check for any mail, and other items around the house. Angelica begins to change to prepare for bed and she begins to remove all her jewelery, off come the rings and bracelets and then finally, her necklace, she wore a Tiffany's® heart pendant that meant the world to her. She begins to remove the pendant and starts to cry at the same time, the pendant was a promise gift to her, Alex waited in line for 2 hours to get that gift for her during the Christmas season of the year before. "I'm so sorry baby...I didn't mean for it to be this way..." she mutters out with her tears. "I always thought that we belonged together, we were made for each other, now all I can do I pray that you forgive me and leave it in God's hand." She curls up on her bed and hugs the pillow like she would Alex if he was there. Tears streaming from her face still, as she attempts to put herself to sleep for the night. From her position in the bed, she looks up through the window and gazes again into the night sky and see the moon. This time it's mostly covered up by clouds, yet still able to shine through and reflect off of her heart pendant. She closes her eyes to release the last of her tears and begins to drift off into sleep, hoping for a better day tomorrow.

Mariah Carey - We Belong Together

The video I selected was Mariah Carey's "We Belong Together". This video and song do justice by expressing the mistake one makes in a relationship and even though there may not be a way to fix it. The person(s) who are the cause of the conflict may have remorseful and regrettable feelings. In today's world, there are many factors against us and have been placed into play. However, it is only if we let them in and welcome the conflict that it will then take it's course and destroy what we spent time building. And in this case, it was another person, but can also be one's career, friends, or even family members that can come into play and create corruption. Till next time, God Bless and Take Care.

The Relationship Story Episode 9: Pride's On The Line (Somewhere I Belong)

The Relationship Story

Written By: Saúl Acevedo

Episode 9

Pride's On The Line

Eyes gazing down onto a small LCD screen, the wallpaper on the cell phone was a portrait of 2 people in love, surrounded by hearts. The number that rose from the LCD screen was an unrecognizable number, the area code different. Our wanderer takes the moment to keep his composure and ignore the call for her. He gives back her cell phone and continues their heart felt discussion. "I'm just tired of this Angelica, I want things to be the way they were, and I can't have that. It's never gonna be the same, all I would have wished for was for you to give me a chance to defend our love, you should have talked to me, told me you were having second thoughts. At least then you would have still kept my respect for you as a person." Alex proclaimed. She looks to him with a valid sense of correction from his statement and begins to reply. However, our lonely loner is fed up with the conversation and decides to leave. "Wh-What are you doing?" she said. "I'm leaving, I'm tired of this and I need time to rethink everything, and I really mean it." he replies. "Wait Alex, don't leave me, I still want to see you tonight. Please come through and see me, I want to spend time with you and be with you, I love you so much my heart can't take it right now without you." she cries. "Well then Angelica, you'll have to learn to deal with it...just like I did."

Later that Night

Our lonely loner is tending to errands in his home. From washing the dishes, putting clothes away from the dryer, and anything else that could keep his mind off of the reality of his love life. He has 7 missed calls and text messages from Angelica asking for his communication, all ignored. He sits back in his couch and plays the events over in his mind like a movie, a movie that had the worst plot turn anyone could ever imagine. He thinks about how he's supposed to finish his date with his lost love and the argument that broke that from happening. He thinks to himself, "I should just go out and have a drink, I at least deserve that shit." He heads out to his car and gets in to drive to one of his least favorite pubs downtown for a couple drinks and maybe even run into some old high school friends. Our wanderer wasn't really a big fan of high school reunions, however anything would be a good thing at this point. He reaches his destination parks his car, enters the bar and walks to the bartender. "Let me get a shot of 151 and a miller chill." The bartender looks at him with a interested glare, attempting to read the lonely loner and figuring out why he requests what he ordered. He gives a stern stare in return and she begins to prepare his order. He looks around the lively bar and can only see couples enjoying each others company, deeply in love and showing affection towards each other. He grows weary of the scenery and downs his shot, pays for the drinks and takes his beer to the outside beer garden. He pulls up a chair and begins people watching as he rarely used to do, and attempts to randomly call his close friends to see what they are up to, hoping that they can meet up and have a small conversation to close his night out. No one answered his calls so he is forced to continue to enjoy the night alone. As he heads back into the bar for another drink he notices that there is a very attractive female that wants his attention. She pulls up beside him at the bar and begins to speak. "Hey, what cologne are you wearing?" The wanderer looks up and responds, "Uh-, Curve." "Oh my God! I love that smell so much I knew It!" she proclaims. "What's your name?" the attentive woman asks. "My name is..." as our wanderer hits the second to last word in his answer, he looks up and notices his former love Angelica, with her arm strapped around another guy. "Welllllll?" she asks again, "Your name is?" "I'll tell you in a second." the wanderer replies. He pulls out of his chair and walks up to his former lover, and gets their attention, "Hey, ANGELICA!" she turns her head as does the man that's with her, and the lonely loner pulls back and draws a straight jaw breaking shot to his face. He falls over with no hesitation and Alex turns to her and begins screaming, "Are you fucking kidding me? You Lier! You spend your time crying to me playing with my feelings saying that you made a big mistake and here you are, with someone else?" she is silent, no words from her mouth, just shock from her eyes. "I was confused, but now I have nothing to lose." He continued. Alex turned to his female friend at the bar and said, "You want my name? My name is someone you don't Fuck with." He storms out before police show up and hops in his ride starting his car, and peels out from the bar's parking lot. As he drives away he gets a call from Angelica and he wildly picks up, and shoots off at her, "Angelica, I got noting to say. What am I to you really? This is not just your fault, it's mine. Mine because I thought I really could give a second chance to you!" she replies back, "Please let me explain, I didn't mean for this! Alex don't hang up on me!" she replies. "Why should I not hang up on you!?!" he questions. "I'm sorry I-" Alex interrupts "That's enough of that shit. You are sorry, not sorry for what you did, sorry because you got caught! This shit is over, we are over! Leave me the fuck alone!" (Click!) The phone is hung up, Alex is done for the night, he speeds off out of town. Again, not knowing where his journey of pain will end and when the healing process begins.

Meanwhile back at the bar...

Angelica turns to her fallen companion and tends to him. She helps me back on his feet with the help of some of the staff at the bar. Everyone gazing their eyes on the two people left in the bar that was involved in this altercation. "FUCK!" This guy screams. "What the hell was that? Who the fuck was that?" Angelica stuttering her words attempts to explain but the guy is not interested, he begins screaming and grasping her arm really tight and berates her in front of everyone. "You fuckin' whore! You good for nothin' whore! That's all you'll be, you slut." The manager at the bar asks them to leave the establishment for the night as they are causing a distraction to the guest trying to enjoy the weekend. They leave and walk out into the parking lot and she begins to attempt to keep him near her. They reach his car and he turns and just slaps her across the face and tells her, "You will always be nothing but a piece of shit, no one will ever love you. I'm going to take my car back home and I'm calling it a night." he states. "I need to get this mother fucker back for what he did to me." Angelica interrupts him, "Your not gonna do anything to him." "Oh really?" He grabs a handful of her hair and says, "You better watch who your talking too, I'll kill you if I wanted to right now. And I'll be following you from now on." she beings to start to cry and he lets go, gets in his car and drives off. She stands in the parking lot and is alone, with no ride home. Angelica ends up calling for a taxi cab and gets a ride back home. She has a lot to think about from what transpired tonight.

Linkin Park - Somewhere I Belong

I select Linkin Park's "Somewhere I Belong" for this episode. This rock anthem is by far one of my many favorites tracks from them. This song contains many speakable statements that relate to this episode. One of them being "to find something to be where I belong". In a relationship that has been jilted, everyone involved needs to make a sound decision and act on it. This is not promoting the impulse of hurting women but more on the emotional stand point. Alex has been hurt and now knows no better then what he's been with in his relationship to Angelica, he wants the emotions of love and trust to return and giving in to Angelica's request for a second chance is not necessarily a bad thing. It turned into a bad thing when she took that for granted again for a second time and wasn't clearly honest about it. Don't you wish we knew what she was thinking? Well, you'll find out soon enough.