Black Friday 2009: People as a Collective are Stupid and They Don't Realize how to be a smart shopper. (Random thoughts from someone behind the counter.)

Nice video huh?  This was taken form a Wal-Mart Employee who is clearly making a great point.  PEOPLE ARE STUPID.  You throw something like 40" HDTV that normally costs $1,000 and cut it by $200, and people are willing to punch kick and throw like we are all primates throwing our feces at each other for walking in on our stake to claim.  Now I'm clearly a fan of saving a dollar or two, in fact I have attended a Black Friday door buster special before, and from that experience needed to be reminded how things run on the other side of the fence.  That means behind the sales counter, now for professional reasons I will not mention the location, name of business, and people involved, but for those of you who know me, that should be easy to figure out.  Anyways, our business was offering a really affordable special for electronic equipment and in this special we ran it for a limited time, to be close to exact, it was for 3 days.  This was to be very competitive for business selling similar equipment during Black Friday.  We sent out mailers across the country and also advertised on TV and also during Thanksgiving from our website.  So now that the picture is painted here are some of the grips that have caused me to write this post.  Please feel free to be offended if you are one of the following;

• The-Know-It-All:  The Shopper that knows everything and makes the purchase interaction easy, this is exactly what every Black Friday Shopper needs to be.  Read about the deals, call ahead of time if you can, and do RESEARCH!  (We definitely can help but at the same time it works when we work with shoppers that know how to shop, make sense?  This makes it easier for you and the person who is helping you.  Not only will be maximize your time, but also be productive as well.) 
• The-I-Think-I-Know-It-All:  This Shopper knows all the info about the deals and specials but at the same time, needs and seeks confirmation from you and when you make your attempt to help them understand they reply back with "I knew that already." (Really?  If you knew that you needed to have a commitment to get a discount, then why are you asking me for the 4th time what the length of the commitment is and why you need to sign it?  You my fellow human, are STUPID.)
• The-Under-estimator:   This shopper thinks things will work out in favor of their daily agenda, and then get hit with the reality that stores actually get busy on Black Friday.  They call everyone under the sun to complain because they thought they had their life under control.   (Looks like you'll have to put off picking up the dry cleaning today and call your spouse to pick the kids up from grandma's.  Either that or you'll miss out on this deal.  Stores get busy my friend, please remember that next time you try to breed so that your offspring may remember that, um actually on second thought, don't breed, you'll do the human race better that way.)
• The-Whiner:   Upset with the reality that they have to wait in line and try complaining, hoping it will make them move forward in the line faster.  When in reality, it just makes things worse, you either get other people to join in or they end up starting an argument with other shoppers or even the employees.  (Listen to me clearly please, you are not the only person in the world and there is such a thing as call before hand or do your shopping research before hand.  Better yet, maybe you should of had your spouse help you out with the shopping errands to you could prepare to embrace any possible lines that may form at your list of stores.  Now stick your head in the over and go to sleep!)
• The-Business-Consultant:  This shopper is the one that may get your stress levels pumping, but to be honest with this, everyone acts like this at sometime in their life, the only difference is that they feel free speaking their mind at a time where it doesn't matter or it's too late to even care or address the issue. "I wish you people had more on staff to help everyone faster, that's what you guys need to do here, you guys should just hire someone to help answer my questions while I wait." Answer back, "Well we have the whole store staff here today, working right now."  Shopper reply's back, "Well I don't care you guys need to do this, I feel like my time is wasted!"  Answer back, "Sorry to hear that sir, but unfortunately we don't have that luxury of more staff here, you can come back another day if you like."  Shopper consults back "No, if I did then I'll miss the deal, I don't want to do that."  Answer back, "Well, then it looks like you need to wait till we get to you then."  (Oh My Lord!  What a complete jack-off!  Really?  Are you serious?  We need to hire more people just because your waiting in line?  How about you call before hand or actually know how to shop or be a savvy shopper and show up early like the first 40 people before you.  And I just remembered your face, I like that fact that you act in front of strangers that you have good business acumen, when in reality, your the same guy that pumps my gas for me after I get out of a long day of making money.  If all you idiots knew this was gonna be a good bargain, then why the hell you treat it like a normal shopping errand?  You my fellow human, need to gouge out your eyes because you don't deserve to see the light of the next day!) 

So in conclusion my fellow peeps, please do your research and ask questions about hours of operation, time-lines for deals, requirements (if any) to qualify, and also understand you are not the ONLY person in the world who will be going to the same place, around the same time, for the same thing, ESPECIALLY ON BLACK FRIDAY!!! 

This Epic Fail has been brought to you by the letter F and the number 1.  Till next time my peeps, have a great time fighting for your life to get that extra $10 off the new Elmo Doll.